Interview: Jace Beleren

Jace, the Mind Sculptor

Current Value: $59.99

Today we have rare opportunity of mythic proportions, we are sitting down with Jace Beleren, aka: Jace, the Mind Sculptor. Welcome to the show Mr. Beleren.

Jace: Thank you for having me. Long time fan of the show.

Joe: Well Jace, you called my agent last night concerning and interview this morning and I have to say it was a big shock... you said you had an announcement to make?

Jace: Yes, as of today it brings me a bittersweet sadness to announce that I am going into early retirement.

*shock in the audience, dismay, and disbelief can be heard.*

Joe:What do you mean? This is incredible...

Jace: Yes, I am retiring. I have come to this decision after a long negotiation process with the "powers that be" concerning Lilliana's exclusion from M12. If she has to go, I will go as well...

Joe: Isn't that a bit extreme. You have a steady market, and there is no way but up for you... these last few weeks are going to be your best. Besides, everyone loves you.

Jace: To quote a dear friend of mine "fame, doing it for the fame, 'cause we wanna live the life of the rich and famous" There is no need to do something for the sake of being the best if you get no gratification out of it anymore.

Joe: You are friends with Lady Gaga?

Jace: I think you are missing the point.

Joe: Yeah, How did you meet Lady Gaga?

Jace: Well, I should get going. I want to publicly state that while I know a lot of other cards resented me I had a lot of super friends. I just want to thank you for being there for me.

Joe: That is so amazing... Lady Gaga... wow. Is he is nice in person as he sounds on his cd's?

Jace: Well, I guess I am off... time to bounce.

Joe: Wait! One more question.

Jace: Yeah...

Joe: You totally know I knew you were banned right?

*Jace vanishes*

Joe: dick...

MTGO Disconnected

Don't you hate it when you are playing MTGO and your opponent gets disconected for like 10 minutes? Sometimes I think it is a conscience attempt by my opponent to frazel me, or to simply get me to walk away from my computer myself. It always seems to happen when I am winning, and in a hurry too. I say to myself "I got this" and formulate my game winning plan... Well, turns out I should write this plan down so I dont forget it over my opponents ten minute absences... I will eventually loose those matches out of frustration. Call me a washing machine because I easily get agitated with these "disconectors" and it works out to thier advantage.

Next time I play in a mtgo tournament I am just going to stay focused during my opponents frequent disconects, and write down my plans... just don't write down your plans in chat... that'd be a bad idea.

Goblin Hero part 2

Goblin Hero Interview part 2

Joe: Here we are sitting down with Goblin Hero for part two of our interview. He is the famous goblin action star from such movies as Last Goblin Hero, and the heart-warming My Goblin.
GH: Thanks again for having me.
Joe: So everyone is wondering, how is life after Merieke? Ms. Berit and yourself had a very public break-up a couple of months ago… How are you doing now.
GH: Well… to be honest that is all under the bridge now, Merieke and I will always be good friends, and I wish her the best of luck in all of her future endeavors.
Joe: How do you feel about the allegations that you are violent… sexually
GH: Of COURSE I AM… people used to say that about me all of the time! I don’t know what it is such a huge surprise. Now some people just think of me as some sort of lazy goblin lackey…
Joe: She also drew attention to the plastic surgery that you have had over the years… she says that you don’t look like the gruff goblin hero of the day when you first met, but more like a polished movie star.
GH: THAT IS RIDICULOUS! I have had no such surgery done, you can ask my family doctor.
Joe: Well sir, we have some photos of you from your earlier headshots compared to your new headshot on the right… You do not see the difference?

GH: *look of disdain* No I don’t… you have a problem man?
Joe: No sir, our readers just wanted us to address these allegations that Ms Berit had brought up.
GH: Listen, you wanna #@%ing throw down, I will throw down!
Joe: Are you kidding me?
GH: Do I look like I am $^%$ing kidding? *stands up*

Joe: It looks like this is something for the readers to decide

GH: You wanna find the end of my steel in your chest?

Joe: ...Well, that looks like all the time we have for today. Thank you for your time today Mr Goblin Hero, your Napoleonic nonsense was very entertaining.

Interview: Goblin Hero

Goblin Hero
Current Value: $0.15
Origin Set: The Dark

Joe: Today I am so very excited to be interviewing someone that I have always looked up to, he was an early favorite of mine… Welcome to the show, Goblin Hero!
Goblin Hero: It is a pleasure to be on your show Joseph, and thank you for those kind words.
Joe: *visibly excited* No, thank you sir for being on my show (Joe looks to the camera and whispers “He called me Joseph”)
Goblin Hero: Well, it is a pleasure.
Joe: Well, I am very excited to have you on the show because you have done some of the greatest movies that Dominara has ever seen.
GH: Well, thank you… I have done a few.
Joe: Well, the first movie I had ever seen you in was My Goblin, and the part at the end where you get stung by bees and your character dies just makes me cry every time. How do you prepare for a part like that.
GH: Well I covered myself in honey ,and I hung out in Unyaro for a weekend just throwing rocks at bee hives.
Joe: Ouch…
GH: Yeah, it certainly helped me prepare.
Joe: On another note I saw you in a couple public service announcements for Goblin History Month this last October. I really liked your PSA about Glarg, the inventor of the Goblin toothbrush.
GH: Well, I did my PSA about Glarg because his invention was at an important time in goblin history. At that time goblins were first starting to invent rocket power so there were some problems… either way the explosion would take care of your teeth.
Joe: I’d say *smiles*
Well folks, tune in for part two of our interview tomorrow where we discuss his upcoming projects, love after Merieke Ri Berit, and rumors of plastic surgery.

Zendikar Red Cross endorses Blood Seeker

07/23/2010
The Zendikar Red Cross announced today that they are endorsing Bloodseeker for his tireless efforts to seek blood donations for the charitable cause. A spokesperson for the Zendikar Red Cross, Christine Sengir, said that “Mr. Seeker is a model citizen, whose tireless efforts will no longer go unnoticed. “ Mrs Sengir continued “…and just yesterday Mr. Seeker brought in 10 gallons of blood donations, and almost half of it was voluntary.” Blood Seeker was awarded a plaque of recognition and a pin that symbolized his ongoing efforts and the sacrifices he has made.

We had an opportunity to speak with Mr. Seeker very briefly after his recognition ceremony. When asked about how people could contact him in the future about blood donations he said “a drop now is all I need to find you later”

Today’s Standard: A Strategy Guide to Standard

With all of my recent success at Magic the Gathering I thought that it would be selfish of me not to share some of my vast Magic knowledge with the online community. I have written down my tried and true methods of winning versus each deck type.


Vs Jund: Don’t play with creatures, or play with creatures that have shroud.

Vs Destructive Force/Primevil Titan: Win before they get 6 mana

Mythic Conscription: Kill every creature, no matter what, when they hit the board… That includes plant tokens too

Polymorph: LOL

Super Friends: Tell them, no insist, that you only play by the new “no planeswalkers allowed” rule


Next Level Bant: Don’t let them hit you.

Stoneforge Mystic Decks: I have made a sample sideboard to beat this deck 4 Disenchant, 4 Shatterstorm, 4 Naturalize, and 2 Scrib sprites… (who didn’t love scrib sprits? They were the best card ever back in the day in my GU deck when I played like in revised. Damn they were the bomb. You couldn’t stop me when my Flying Men or Scrib Sprites got an unstable mutation on them… they were so good! Anyways I got a little distracted… has this whole thing been in parenthesis?)


Anyways, so all you have to do to win in Today’s standard metagame is have no creatures or all shroud creatures, kill every creature when it hits the board, don’t let your opponents play Planeswalkers,take no damage from creatures or spells, and laugh at people who play polymorph. With a proper sideboard that reflects the needs to face a Stoneforge Mystic deck you can win any game. What about Rogue decks you ask… no one plays rogue decks ever, and if you do you are a communist… there, I said it.

Interview: Demon at Death's Gate

Demon at Death’s Gate
Current Value $9.00

Well, we have a very special guest today. Our guest today is fresh from his debut appearance in Magic 2011 Core set and I will give you a hint… I summoned him by sacrificing 3 Reassembling Skeletons … it’s Demon at Death’s Gate!

Joe: Hello Demon at Death’s Gate, it is such a pleasure to meet you.

Demon at Death’s Gate: Thank you very much.

Joe: So, how are you doing today?

D@DG: Oh, I am fabulous, what a great day it is today.

Joe: Well, yes… um… So what is new with you? What sort of things does a Demon like you do?

D@DG: Well, I am simply over the moon because I got a new puppy. He is a Yorkshire Terrier and he is so adorable.

Joe: um… really?

D@DG: Of course, and he is brown with white paws and I named him Mittens.

Joe: you’re kidding me

D@DG: No, I wouldn’t do that to you sweetie.

Joe: Are you saying you are gay?

D@DG: Well, since we are demons Wizards of the Coast gives us all major drawbacks… which is pretty gay.

Joe: Bazzzzzing!

D@DG: Seriously…